Recently my mind has been thinking about the "big picture". And when I say this I mean that recently I have been kind of unhappy with how my present life is going so I've been focusing a lot of thinking on the future, mine in particular. The other day I was listening to the song "Flowers in Your hair" by the Lumineers and it talks about the stages of life. Being young and naive and then slowly starting to grow up and experience pain and heartbreak. As humans we go through stages of life. First we're born, then we go through elementary school and we're curious about the world. We wonder why the sky is blue, why dogs have four legs, and why we can't eat ice cream for every single meal. Then we enter middle school and our bodies start to change. We wonder is this normal, is my body attractive enough, will these pimples ever go away. When we reach high school we start explore new things. We kiss each other, and sneak out, and push the limits. We're starting to grow into a new shoes and get used to harder classes, and learning to drive, and getting our first jobs. I feel like for the most part everything up until that point in your life everything is planned out. Yes you have options but for the most part they all lead to the same place; graduation.
But the thing is, after graduation they're aren't really anymore "steps". Some people go to college, some people jump right into the workforce, and some people just fade away. After this point there are so many options to life and for some people, like me, this is really overwhelming. Before I graduated, I chose the path of college, another four years of learning and honestly, another four years of being a kid. The thought of jumping right into the workforce terrified me and I admire anyone that did/does that. Two years ago I was accepted into my dream school in the perfect city. I was excited for the life I was about to live and the opportunities I was about to experience. Flashforward to today and I'm sophomore going into my fourth semester as a college student. I have a good gpa, I'm on an executive position in my sorority, I have great friends and all I can think about is what is going to happen next. I'm finally at the place I dreamed of before and now I feel like I'm wishing it away. Instead of focusing on the good things that I've accomplished and the things that I have, I instead find the smallest insecurities and focus my whole hearted attention on them. Because of this, part of me wants to skip through my life to the part where I have a stable career, stable finances, and a stable relationship. But the other part of me knows that that's not true. There are still things I want to experience before I "have it all together". Like studying abroad, my 21st birthday, buying my first car, owning my first best, renting my first house etc etc. And besides, when you think about it, you'll never truly have it all together. There's always going to be something around the corner to through you for a loop. That's just how life is. So this is a reminder to myself to wish for the present. Wish for good things now. Wish for a happy heart now. Wish for a healthy mind now. And by the time the future comes you won't need anymore wishing.
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Author:Straight from my mind to yours. Quote of the Month:Destroy the thoughts, not yourself Archives
January 2019
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