Self care has been a phrase that is being thrown around more and more in pop culture. You see it all over twitter and its becoming increasing popular in the skincare and beauty industry. We all have daily self-care routines like brushing our teeth, showering, and using deodorant. They have become ingrained in our daily routine. But sometimes we decide to throw in some extra steps when we feel our routine is lacking. We might throw on a face mask, or a hair mask, we might buy ourselves a sugary treat or splurge on a new item. All of these things focus on healing our outer selves, and it sometimes masks the thing that really needs healing, what’s inside of us. The part of us that’s stressed, that lacks confidence and drive. Now don’t get me wrong I’m all about slapping a face mask on from time to time. Although I’m not 100% sure that they actually work, they do create a sense of calmness when I am in a stressed mood. But the thing is, face masks only heal a temporary problem. In order to fix the underlying problem, you have to look to yourself.
Recently I encountered a big bump in the road that really threw me off guard. I felt like I was driving on a smooth open road. Things were going good in my life when all of a sudden, a boulder was thrown into my path. This bump in the road had a downward spiraling effect and left me pretty fragile. Looking back at it now, I don’t think this bump in the road was as big as I originally thought, instead of a boulder maybe a pebble, but because of the emotional toll it took on me it uncovered a lot of emotions and fears I was trying to suppress. Like a can of worms, I exploded, and sadly this feeling consumed me for multiple days. Last night I took the time to go through all my old photobooks, journals, and blog posts. I’m extremely grateful that I’ve started documenting my life with photos and written words. I think one of the innately good things about social media is that you can go back and look at your past self.
Sometimes we forget ourselves. The memories that we have are only our own version of reality and they’re distorted by emotions. As I flipped through the photos from my time in high school I was greeted by strong presence of my past self. She was so smart and driven. Involved in everything under the sun. She had dreams of going to California and living a life luxury. She knew she was going to be successful and had no doubt about it. Sometimes I feel like I’ve disappointed her but now I realized that she would be proud. I have a strong GPA, a job that I enjoy, an executive position in my sorority and hopes for studying abroad. I might not have a loving boyfriend or and exact idea of what I want to do with my life but I’m growing. I’m starting to open up more and share things about myself with the one’s around me, I’m learning to love more not only myself but the people who have hurt me.
I have conditioned myself to focus on the negative when the positive shines so bright. I know that everything with work out, because it always does. My anxiety and fears are IRRATIONAL. I can’t keep continuing to let my brain destroy itself when It was created for so much more.
So, the next time you treat your self to an extra donut or decide to get your nails done, try to also reflect on yourself. I can’t push this enough but WRITE THINGS DOWN. Us humans have figured out an amazing way to put our thoughts on paper. This allows us to see what’s going on in our head. Our thoughts shouldn’t be stuck there, they deserve to be free. So, write things down or tell a friend how your feeling. Release those thoughts before they consume you. Get out of that tunnel and see what’s right in front of you.
It's already eight days into the new year and I can already see small changes in my life take place. Not only has my mindset improved but also the way I handle different rough situations. I have a lot of things to look forward to this year and I can't wait for them to happen.
Some immediate changes include my new executive position on the board of my sorority. Ever since I made the decision to join a sorority I knew I wanted to hold a position. I think the best way to really get involved with any organization is to be in charge of it in some way. Not only do you get your moneys worth (if your paying for membership) but you also get a chance to improve it. I'm looking forward to my new position of authority and hope I get to express my thoughts and ideas.
My schedule for spring semester is also a little bit different. I am taking a total of five classes but two of them are online. This means that I only have to go to class four days a week which has allowed me to take on extra hours at work to total to 20 hours a week. With that and the increase of minimum wage I will be able to grow my savings more quickly while still having time for other expenses (festivals, clothes, eating out you know the drill).
In April I will be traveling to Ohau for my spring break. I book my flight tomorrow and I have goosebumps from just thinking about it. I traveled to Maui for my 18th birthday and I've been trying to get back to Hawaii ever since. I can't wait to relax on the beach and enjoy the view. It also gives me an excuse to revamp my bikini collection :)
The following week after Ohau I will be crossing of a thing high on my bucket list. Attend Coachella!! The line up dropped a couple days ago featuring some of my favorite artists Childish Gambino, Smino, Tame Impala, and Billie Ellish. It has been a dream of mine to attend an event like this. I can't to travel with my besties and experience live music like never before. The only question I have now is: What do I wear?
All of my other plans for the year aren't as set in stone. I am hoping to get a paid internship this summer. This is something that I am super nervous. I can't believe that its getting closer and closer to the time where I have to start looking for actual jobs for my career one day. I feel like everything is happening so quickly but in the end I'm excited to see where life takes me.
I also recently decided to minor in marketing. In order to save some money and time I'm also hoping to take some summer classes at my local college. I think having a background in business/marketing will give me an edge and make me more well rounded in my future feild.
As for vacations this summer, I definitely plan on returning to my old home town to visit old friends. I'm also thinking about possibly attending Lollapalooza in Chicago. The lineup last year was freaking phenomenal and I have a friend who lives there that said I could crash with her. It might just be a last minute send.
At the end of the year is my 20th birthday and I will have been alive for exactly two decades. This is my last official year as a teen which blows my mind. It's weird watching yourself become the person you've always wanted to be. Sometimes I feel like I have deja vu. Like I've already read this story. I hope that by the time I'm twenty I will have become the confident girlboss that I know I can be. Every challenge and opportunity this year will be grabbed by the balls. This is the year of standing up and going after what you want. Being scared wastes too much time. I really want to take charge of my life and not shy away from living life.
So lets speak it into existence.
A New Year's resolution is a tradition, most common in the Western Hemisphere but also found in the Eastern Hemisphere, in which a person resolves to change an undesired trait or behavior, to accomplish a personal goal or otherwise improve their life.
As the year comes to a close we begin to reflect on the things we've experienced over the past 12 months. For me 2018 was filled with a lot of highs, lows, and everything in between. I began the new year hanging out with my childhood friends. It had been almost 5 months since I've seen any of them and it warmed my heart to see them again.
Then I flew across the country again and went back home but took a quick pit stop in the mountains to see some snow. A group of my friends and a fellow frat rented a cabin in Big Bear and spent a couple days relaxing, partying, and more partying. As we traveled back to school we took our time and enjoyed golden hour and a trip to a country bar and line danced with some hunnies (hehe).
Being back at school was nice. The first couple weeks of the semester are pretty easy which means that there's more times for crazy things like getting a lip tat :)
Soon it was time to celebrate Muffins. A national holiday at my school where we wake up at 5am on a Sunday and sip mimosas and stuff our faces with muffins hehe. Everyone wears brunch attire and parties until around 12pm.
One of my favorite memories from 2018 came from the month of March when I attended my first rave with my best friends. Up until this point the only EDM music I had really heard was the music that my friends played while we got ready to go out. I didn't really know what to expect but it was probably one of the best music performances I have ever been to. The lights and visuals were amazing and it was almost impossible not to get lost in the lights. I'm not really one for crowds but everyone there was really warm welcoming. I met a lot of different people and exchanged candy bracelets. If you ever have the chance to go to rave I would say go for it!
In April I spent my spring break in Lake Havasu Arizona. We stayed at a resort with over a hundred other college students. We went boating, chilled on the lake and watched performances form Madeintyko and Boombox Cartel. It was definitely a week to remember.
And soon it was the end of my freshman year and I was saying goodbye to my best friends.
I spent the summer in my new home in Arizona and I can admit it was pretty tough. Although I was able to spend more time with my family, I didn't have any friends to hang out with and I was working 35+ hours at a job that I hated. I tried to make the best of it though but this definity was not one of my favorite parts of 2018. Some of my friends visited me for a couple days and that really lifted my spirit.
I ended the summer on a high note and traveled back to California to attend a music festival. Although it was very hot, I got to see some of my favorite artist like Louis the Child, Troyboi, and Zeds Dead.
And like clockwork and flew to the east coast to spend a couple weeks in my old hometown. I got to vist my friend Haley at college and spent a week at the beach with my guy friends.
Then it was time to go back to school for my 2nd year. The beginning was spent tailgating at football games, recruiting girls for my sorority, and going to the beach of course. Later in the semester I got an on campus job, I welcomed my little sorority sisters into my family, celebrated halloween for four days straight (haha), turned 19, and had to say goodbye to one of my best friends and she left to study abroad.
2018 was a very challenging year for me. I struggled with a lot of insecurities and focused a lot of my time on things I couldn't control. It was definitely a year of introspection. Analyzing myself as a person, and my current life, and my future hopes and dreams. There are a lot of things I wish I could have done better but looking back I know they were supposed to happen because I learned from them. I made a list of resolutions that are based on these things so that I can take the things I learned into the new year. Some people think that resolutions are stupid but I see resolutions as a way to improve your year. You take all the things you didn't like about the last year and actively make ways to combat them so that the upcoming year is better
2019 New Years resolutions