Recently my mind has been thinking about the "big picture". And when I say this I mean that recently I have been kind of unhappy with how my present life is going so I've been focusing a lot of thinking on the future, mine in particular. The other day I was listening to the song "Flowers in Your hair" by the Lumineers and it talks about the stages of life. Being young and naive and then slowly starting to grow up and experience pain and heartbreak. As humans we go through stages of life. First we're born, then we go through elementary school and we're curious about the world. We wonder why the sky is blue, why dogs have four legs, and why we can't eat ice cream for every single meal. Then we enter middle school and our bodies start to change. We wonder is this normal, is my body attractive enough, will these pimples ever go away. When we reach high school we start explore new things. We kiss each other, and sneak out, and push the limits. We're starting to grow into a new shoes and get used to harder classes, and learning to drive, and getting our first jobs. I feel like for the most part everything up until that point in your life everything is planned out. Yes you have options but for the most part they all lead to the same place; graduation.
But the thing is, after graduation they're aren't really anymore "steps". Some people go to college, some people jump right into the workforce, and some people just fade away. After this point there are so many options to life and for some people, like me, this is really overwhelming. Before I graduated, I chose the path of college, another four years of learning and honestly, another four years of being a kid. The thought of jumping right into the workforce terrified me and I admire anyone that did/does that. Two years ago I was accepted into my dream school in the perfect city. I was excited for the life I was about to live and the opportunities I was about to experience. Flashforward to today and I'm sophomore going into my fourth semester as a college student. I have a good gpa, I'm on an executive position in my sorority, I have great friends and all I can think about is what is going to happen next. I'm finally at the place I dreamed of before and now I feel like I'm wishing it away. Instead of focusing on the good things that I've accomplished and the things that I have, I instead find the smallest insecurities and focus my whole hearted attention on them. Because of this, part of me wants to skip through my life to the part where I have a stable career, stable finances, and a stable relationship. But the other part of me knows that that's not true. There are still things I want to experience before I "have it all together". Like studying abroad, my 21st birthday, buying my first car, owning my first best, renting my first house etc etc. And besides, when you think about it, you'll never truly have it all together. There's always going to be something around the corner to through you for a loop. That's just how life is. So this is a reminder to myself to wish for the present. Wish for good things now. Wish for a happy heart now. Wish for a healthy mind now. And by the time the future comes you won't need anymore wishing.
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In high school I wrote my senior research paper on happiness. In my paper I researched the common age old question "Does money by you happiness?". What I learned was yes it did, but only up to a certain extent. It's more about what your spend your money on. People who don't have their immediate needs taken care of (food, shelter, clothing) are less likely to be happy but that doesn't mean that people without these things can't be happy. The Amish for example live their lives completely different from society and don't depend on things like electronics or money. But when surveyed there happiness didn't seem to be any less than the average American.
One thing I took away from my paper is that your specific spending habits can affect happiness. You're more likely to be happier spending your money on experiences rather than tangible items. For example, if you buy a new car your immediately very happy and excited. Its all you can talk about, you show all your friends, you take it out for a spin all the time. But slowly and slowly your happiness fades has you own the car for longer and longer. Suddenly it's just that boring car that you drive. On the other hand lets say you spend your money on a trip to the Bahamas. You buy your tickets and you're super excited. It's all you can't talk about the week leading up to the trip. Then it's finally time for the trip and you're still excited. Then even after the trip you're still happy because you have those memories that you can keep with you forever. Recently I've been struggling with lack of motivation. I've been waking up really groggy and not looking forward to my day. Part of it has to do with me getting over my case of pneumonia which left me feeling fatigued for weeks. So I've started planning little tasks for me to everyday. I remembered from my senior paper that people get excited and happy in the anticipation of things. I started getting back into horoscopes. I won't say that I'm a firm believing in the placement of the stars and planets but it's definitely something I want to learn more about (and hopefully do a blog post on). And don't worry I'm not the type to unfriend you if we have incompatible signs (haha). Now I have two daily horoscope apps on my phone and I look forward to reading them in the morning. Sometimes I take their advice with a grain of salt but other days I truly feel like they are spot on. And they motivate me everyday to look out for certain things that normally I wouldn't pay attention to. I've also been participating in a 30 day song challenge using my Instagram stories. Every day there's a theme like "pick a song that makes you want to dance" and then you post it on your story. I do this in the morning as well and I definitely think it has a positive effect on my day. I love music and it gives me a chance to go through my music library and really find songs that are important to me. I probably bet that most people skip over my story but it makes me happy so that all that matters. These are just a couple things that help me get up in the morning and start my day on a more positive note. If you're going through a slump and dreading waking up in the morning for whatever reason, find something that you can do daily that will make you excited for another day. If you're not into horoscopes then maybe download a daily devotional if you're religious or find a daily blog that you really like, or do an instagram challenge like me. Set goals for yourself. If not everyday than every week. They can be big or small. My current goal is to be creative at least once a day whether that's drawing, writing, or taking photos. Goal setting is another way to make you excited for what's to come. To make you excited for another day. Money can't buy you happiness but you can create it. xoxo Heaven There's a song by Tyler the creator titled "Boredom" and in the lyrics Tyler talks about his struggle with being lonely. This is something that I feel I have really struggled with during my semester at school. I was lucky to be able to attend my dream college. It's in the perfect city, the weather is always nice, and the people here are so diverse and from all walks of life. There are always fun things to do on campus and downtown but this semester I feel like I've barely left my bed. I don't have a car so I depend on my friends for rides to places. They're my ticket off campus. Sadly most of my close friends are science majors so they spend most of their free time in the library. So my semester consisted of a continuous schedule of working and going to school during the day and going to frat parties at night. And as much fun as that can be, it started to get real old. I began to get so frustrated that I lived in such a beautiful city and I barely had the chance to explore it. I wanted to travel, I wanted to go to the beach, go to flee markets, see a show etc etc. Obviously complaining made me feel worse and I didn't want my friends to feel bad over a course load they couldn't control. These restrictions made me feel trapped. Day after day I would confine myself to my room while all my other friends were busy. The more Netflix I watched the more lonely I became. Rex Orange County features in Boredom and on the track he says, "find some time to do something". See the thing is, I was letting my circumstances completely control me. Instead of trying to fix the problem or find other solutions, I let it completely sweep me off my feet. In life you're not always going to be able to control your circumstances. There are just things that are completely out of your control. But you do have control over how they make you feel and how you're going to react to those circumstances. Although I might not be able to leave campus as frequently as I would like, I can still make the best of the situation. So I made a list of all the things that I wanted to focus on doing. Things that made me feel happy and like I wasn't wasting my time. fulfilling pastimes other than Netflix
Creating this list really help me to remember all the things I used to be passionate about. It's one of the reasons I decided to write on my blog again. If you're ever in my situation and you're feeling lonely or bored with life, make a list. Make a list of activities you know make you feel good or better yet try some you've never done before. Get yourself out of that same monotonous routine and find some time to do something.
keep your eyes open xoxo Heaven |
Author:Straight from my mind to yours. Quote of the Month:Destroy the thoughts, not yourself Archives
January 2019
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